


i was somewhat tickled by the gauge of your ticker tape parade

by vanimiel



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, quite a bit of headcanon actually, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 20:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2202567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanimiel/pseuds/vanimiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They broke up in 1947 when their jobs were done, and went their separate ways. Now, it is twenty-two years later, and they are old men; the times have changed, and so have they. The Fear has trouble adjusting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i was somewhat tickled by the gauge of your ticker tape parade

When Joy comes knocking on his door in the summer of '64, he couldn't be happier. 

To see his leader, his friend-- Hell, his mother figure, being nine years her senior be damned-- was not something he thought he'd have the privilege of doing ever again. He hugs her tightly, so hard that he's worried he may accidentally fracture a rib, the minute he lays eyes on her. Seconds later he detaches himself, straightens up, and salutes. 

"Joy," he says, breathless, English tasting odd after years of disuse. Her old, out of date codename strikes her oddly. She'll have to correct him at a better time.

"Fear," she replies, not nearly as ecstatic.

 _Fear,_ he thinks. How many years has it been since he's heard that name? Too many.

Too many.

His codename, the emotion, sits better with him than any name he's ever had and he knows it. He's never been quite sure how he felt about that.

One of his arms travels around a shoulder to his left, and Boss' eyes follow. It wraps itself around a small-framed woman with hair as dark as his but eyes not nearly as bright. She balances a child on her hip. A _child,_ no older than five or six.

Oh no.

Dread and guilt breed in her gut.

"You've changed," she tells him, matter of fact. He laughs, that same scratchy laugh from years ago, if a bit more raspy.

"Yeah," he agrees. "I have."

She smiles nervously at the strange woman. The boy hides his face in her neck.

"This is my wife, Annie." 

_Wife._

Of all things, Fear _married._

He turns then to Annie and speaks in Romanian (a language Boss had never learned) and she immediately lights up, shifting the boy's weight on her hip and excitedly inviting her inside. Boss shoots Fear a confused glance, but Fear just smiles. He looks thirty again.

"I've told her about you," he tells her. 

Who hasn't, she thinks.

"I can't stay long," Boss says as Annie serves them tea, Fear giving a kiss in thanks. "This is urgent. I--,"

She glances warily over to Annie. "Does she speak any English?"

Fear shakes his head. "Nope. I've taught her a phrase or two, but what's the point if we're not gonna be speaking it at all? She's worse than I was when you first met me. God, remember that?"

She does. 

"I'm not here to reminisce, Fear."

Fear snorts. "I thought as much." He takes a sip of the tea.

"What do you need?"

No hesitation. Pain had been like that, too. Over two decades, and their loyalty had not wavered. Not even a bit. 

She feels the guilt again.

"You," she explains, leaving her tea untouched. "For one last mission with the Cobra Unit."

Fear almost chokes on his drink. _"What?"_

She nods, unfazed. "You don't have to accept. But you would be a great help."

Fear looks at her as if he's just realized that she's God in human form. Like she's just promised the answers to the universe, like she is the universe, like she's the infallible pillar of liberty and justice that so many around the world believe her to be.

It's just another pound on her shoulders.

Fear grins, all sharp teeth and wonder, like the first time she told him he was needed.

"Not accept?" Unthinkable. "Why wouldn't I?"

Despite herself, she hesitates. Annie can't understand what they're saying, but she still glances edgewise to ensure she's out of earshot. The hungry guilt eats at her.

"...Because you will not come back alive."

His grin falls first, then his face, then his head, staring at the floor for just a moment before he turns to Annie and their son, playing in the next room. 

Fear's expression is unreadable. If Boss had known him better, maybe she would have been able to decipher it, but Fear has always been a mystery to her. To everyone. Fear may have divulged his heart to Fury-- with whom he shared a special relationship-- but if Fear is private than Fury is a locked safe to which only he has the key, so no one knows their secrets. The only thing most people ever knew for sure about Fear was that he was unpredictable in a manner that was strangely predictable-- but even then, as she watches him now, she realizes that no longer applies.

He's changed, indeed. 

Minutes pass.

"...Fear?"

"I'm in."

He seems possessed as he says so, slowly turning his attention to Boss once more. His expression almost shocks her. He's never looked so hardened. 

She has a moment of panic. His life. His family. Widowed, fatherless... "Fear, you don't have to. It's a choice. You don't--," 

"I'm going with you." He rises, taking their cups with him. "I'll do whatever you say. Just like old times, right?"

It's a stab in the heart for more than one reason, but she lets the subject drop until they don't have potential eavesdroppers. Even if they can't understand each other's languages, emotions are universal, and Boss doesn't trust herself nor Fear to keep themselves under control.

There's nothing to pack. It isn't a vacation. Fear no longer owns his military-grade crossbows, but if he did, he certainly wouldn't take them. Too obvious. He couldn't do that to Annie. 

"I'll be going away for a couple weeks," he lies. "A reunion with my old unit. I'll bring back pictures, so you can see how ugly Pain is now."

She giggles. The sound almost breaks him. 

"I love you, my Queen," he says and kisses her for he last time. "And you, too, my little prince," he ruffles the boy's hair, presses lips to his forehead. "I love you, too." 

Fear can't get out the door fast enough. He shuts the door as quickly as possible without slamming it, and when he does, he covers his face with both hands and takes a shuddering breath. He remains like that until Boss urges him, curt.

"We don't have time for this." Fear knows her tone. Angry. Livid, even, but containing it, saving it for later. Out of instinct, he starts bracing himself for the explosion.

Just like old times.

They walk to the truck in silence.


End file.
